Snow Analysis Leads to Shocking Discovery

Amature snow hydrologist and climatology expert Philip Osborne has determined that ice stratification on his driveway was due to the gradual accumulation of billions of snow particles due to climate change.

Archean

Osborne, an amature scientist since the age of one years old, was full of information about the snow deposits. "The dozens of layers are visible to the naked eye," he said, "which proves that it formed gradually over hundreds of days."

He then went on to label as myths other models that explained the formation of ice stratification as due to cataclysmic events such as avalanches or blizzards, and dismissed as ridiculous the idea of urban snow storms. "A light dusting of snow and frost, compacted under vehicles, is the only rational explanation for what we are seeing," Osborne said.

Ice eras

"This snow and ice didn't just happen spontaneously overnight," he explained, "the stratification tells an incredibly detailed story of long-past events."

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